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Archive for the ‘Television’ Category

Claude

Claude

First, there is Hank Azaria as the half-naked, hot with huwatemalan-ness Agador Spartacus in The Birdcage. Azaria is always funny when he is half naked (see Claude in the otherwise crappy Along Came Polly), but his Agador is the pièce de résistance of flesh-exposing men, what with his rendition of “She Works Hard for the Money” and his inability to walk in shoes.

Even better is Agador’s hot homeland from which his powerful sexual magnetism arises.

Agador: Armand, why don’t you let me be in the show? Are you afraid of my huwatemalan-ness [Guatemalan-ness]?
Armand: Your what?
Agador: My huwatemalan-ness, my natural heat. You’re afraid I’m too primitive to be on the stage with your little estrogen rockettes, right?
Armand: You’re right. I’m afraid of your heat.

Next is probably the funniest fart scene ever filmed, the elevator scene in Revenge of the Pink Panther. Watch Peter Sellers’s eyes in this short clip.

Glark, noted fart expert, gives the prize to the bean scene from Blazing Saddles, a worthy choice, but when I went to look at it on youtube, I found this, which made my Trekkie self laugh even harder:

Borat’s mankini scene is the next great moment on the list. Only someone with the unselfconscious brio of Sacha Baron Cohen, a man who introduced the UN Secretary-General Boutros Boutros-Ghali as “Boutros Boutros Boutros-Ghali” on his show, could pull off this outfit, complete with socks and shoes.

Borat immortalized

Borat immortalized

Finally, following an appearance on Real Time with Bill Maher, pundit Andrew Sullivan seemed unaware that the cameras were still rolling (but surely he knew the studio audience was there!?) when he took a few moments to enjoy a deep massage of his butt.

Video here. (You might have to refresh a few times or select the URL and hit enter.)

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Andrew O’Hehir has a great piece at Salon called, “Why the Original Star Trek Still Matters.” O’Hehir writes that Trek became a potent cultural force because of its “its narrative ambition, its talky, theatrical density, its high-minded moral tone, and its nerdy philosophizing.”

Moreover, having been a Trekkie youth in the seventies, he claims a kind of intellectual, counter-culture cool for others like himself: they were “prima facie, not interested in Donny Osmond or ‘Happy Days,’ had conceivably read a book not required by teachers, and furthermore could plausibly have access to decent weed.” Weed!

Deleted scene from Mirror, Mirror.*

Deleted scene from Mirror, Mirror.*

Of course, he is right. But I am biased and have to confess to a solidarity with Trekkies and appreciation for their long history. I was moved when I heard Whoopi Goldberg say how much the character of Uhuru meant to her as a child in the sixties. She told her family, “I just saw a black woman on television; and she ain’t no maid!” And when Nichelle Nichols wanted to leave the show after the first season, no less than Martin Luther King, Jr. asked her to stay on, as she was a role model for the black community. After forty-three years of Star Trek, there are many stories like this, examples of community and inspiration, from fundraising for charities by fan groups around the globe to the badass lyrics written by Trek bands like No Kill:

Trekking through space
Chasing some Gorn
Fucking with the Federation
A battle is born.
Taken from our ships
Our savage nature calls
Human pitted against Gorn
Who’s got the bigger balls?

GORN!
Can’t kill Kirk
GORN!
Green fucking jerk!
GORN!
No can do!
GORN!
Fuck you!

Who has bigger balls?

Who has bigger balls?

To many people, Star Trek offers what O’Hehir calls “a tiny oasis of imaginative escape.” Maybe this has been all the more welcome to the nerdy egghead types, or the people who didn’t fit in very well, had shitty social skills, or didn’t look as great as everyone else. And this, I think, is why Spock and his later incarnations, Data and Seven of Nine, have been an enduring force in the Trekverse.

Where House has taken certain aspects of the Sherlock Holmes character–his drug use, detachment, and misanthropy–Trek has refigured Holmes’s rationality in a different way. Spock’s leads him to be completely free of that ugly species of prejudgment that we all cannot help but engage in when we first meet someone and assess them based on speech, number or whiteness of teeth, skin, clothing, shoes, likelihood of being a serial killer, imagined intelligence, coolness, hair frizziness, nail length, pants tentness, ankle thickness, cell-phone shininess, age, size, sexual orientation, political leanings, mole placement, and so on, ad infinitum. That extraordinary quality, that we rarely see in real life outside of people like Gandhi or the Dalai Lama, is a large part of what Trek envisions for the advancement of humankind.

And that’s why I grok Spock, and that’s why I am an unabashed Trekkie. Live long and prosper.

* I shamelessly stole this idea from Glark’s Star War Farts series.

Androids remember.

Androids remember.

cat redshirt

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They're good enough, they're smart enough, and dogonnit, people like them.

They're good enough, they're smart enough, and doggonit, people like them.

Of course, it was the brilliant Michele Bachmann who said that Franklin Roosevelt turned a recession into a depression through the “Hoot-Smalley” tariffs. She should take her act on the road.

Here are some other memorable quotes from Rep. Bachmann:

“Little children will be forced to learn that homosexuality is normal and natural and perhaps they should try it.”

“Literally, if we took away the minimum wage—if conceivably it was gone—we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.”

“In some ways, to believe in evolution is almost like a following; a cult following — if you don’t believe in evolution, you’re considered completely backward. That seems to me very indicative of bias as well.”

“We’re running out of rich people in this country.”

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A study by Ohio State University examined the “biased message processing” of Stephen Colbert’s satire. The study found that individuals’ political ideology determined their perceptions of Colbert’s meanings and that their perceptions varied widely.

I don’t know how anyone watching, say, Colbert’s performance at the Correspondents’ Dinner could see anything but a biting criticism of the Bush administration and its enablers in the press. But on his show, I suppose, he can be as manic and annoying as any of the top blowhards like Glenn Beck or Bill O’Reilly.

So the study concluded:

. . . there was no significant difference between the groups in thinking Colbert was funny, but conservatives were more likely to report that Colbert only pretends to be joking and genuinely meant what he said while liberals were more likely to report that Colbert used satire and was not serious when offering political statements. Conservatism also significantly predicted perceptions that Colbert disliked liberalism. Finally, a post hoc analysis revealed that perceptions of Colbert’s political opinions fully mediated the relationship between political ideology and individual-level opinion.

So, if you are a rightwinger, you will think that Colbert’s extreme self-love

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is manly, delightful, and as American as Norman Rockwell, and

twopcharlene

that his song, “Charlene” is a beautiful expression of pure, undying love.

Considering this strange inability of such people to see beyond the literal, Keith Olbermann said, “So I shouldn’t tell guests that Colbert greets them backstage with” —

It's French, bitch.

It's French, bitch.

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twopeverwood

twopfellini

twopleone

twopnightof

twopharryhausenantm

George Lucas directs Real World

George Lucas directs Real World

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There have been complaints in the blogosphere that Chuck Todd is being his usual hackish self in trivializing the discussion of torture, calling it a “political food fight” and blaming the so-called “hard left and hard right” for making a big deal over nothing.

It’s not his fault. He can’t help simply repeating what other pundits say. Because journalism isn’t his field — he is actually that guy that manages Flight of the Conchords.

Murray talks about how tough life is

Murray at a meeting with Brett and Jemaine.

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